In Memory of Gaje Jeffrey Florence

Today is my baby boy's birthday and a constant reminder that my life is almost meaningless. I woke up this morning after fighting myself to go to sleep. I was dreading this day and then this day came. I try to remember the happier times that we had together and the things that we would do but it doesn't seem right. All I can think about is him not being here with us.

We are going to send letters to Heaven through the use of baloons. I don't know if Gaje will receive them but I do know that I miss him so much. Life was easier with him around and me is my precious baby boy.

I will never forget the feeling that he gave me when I would get one of his famous bear hugs or when he would giggle when I would kiss him on his forehead.

We use to dance in the living room and it always made him laugh. He had always done this dance that looked like a water sprinkler and I will never have this back.

Today is his birthday and what should have been a celebration of life, this has turned into mourning the loss of Gaje. Who could be happy at a time like this?

I can't stop crying. We were suppose to buy him gifts that he wanted and eat ice cream and cake and have balloons and be happy, this is not the way that today has turned out.

You pray at night that God will keep him safe but at the same time, You are a little selfish because he is not here with you. God gave me an Angel and then he took him away. Life is not the fairest of things of this cut me pretty deep. Deeper than anything could have ever done. You ask the question of why and you get no answer. It isn't right, none of this is right.

Am I suppose to go on living like our son is in a better place? How could he be? He was happy with us, he was strong and kind hearted. He was an Angel and I don't understand why he was taken from us. I may never understand. People tell you that God needed him more, how can they say this when I needed him.