In Memory of Gaje Jeffrey Florence

I was thinking of you today. who am I kidding, I think of you all the time. I still can't believe that it has been 5 years since you left us. It is like someone ripped my heart out. Your dad still cries sometimes, he thinks that I don't notice but I do. He has a sadness in his eyes each time someone says your name. It took me a long time before I stopped waiting for you to walk through the door. They told me that it wasn't a good sign and that I hadn't moved on. I don't want to move on. I don't even like those words. Your little brother looks just like you and when he smiles I see you. I try not to compare him to you but I find myself doing it all the time. It scares me that he will be in kindergarten next year. Each time one of the kids gets in that grade or turns six, I become paranoid. I can't help myself and some think that I am overprotective but they haven't had something like this to happen to them. I miss you so much and I still cry. I have controlled my anger towards the world but I still haven't controlled my sadness that I feel. I just wish you were here with me. I love you Gaje.