In Memory of Gaje Jeffrey Florence

I never thought that life would be this hard. Things that mattered most to me, well, now they no longer make a difference. I still can't believe that you are gone. It doesn't make since to me and I still look for hope but can't seem to find it. I dread the day that I wake up and realize that this wasn't just a dream but a reality of what my life has become.

I am more tired now than what I ever have been. The promises that I told you can no longer be fulfilled and the life that I had wanted for you, they are all loss dreams now.

I apologize to you ever night before I go to bed and I pray that you can hear me. Everyone acts as though the time would heal me but it seems more distant now and I don't think that I will ever heal.

I am struggling to keep up with life and I have watched as time has slipped away. I pray for a miricle but my prayers don't seem to be answered.

People look at me strange and as though I should just forget about the past. How do I forget about something as precious as you. I cry myself to sleep and hope that you knew how much I loved you and how much you meant to me.

I ask myself if there was anything that I could have done differently and how I could have protected you.

I am ashamed of how people were at your funeral and all I could think about is what you would have wanted. I know what you would have wanted and yet everyone else put your memories off so that they could make it about themselves. It wasn't just a few people, it was nearly everybody. I know the truth though, I know who was really there for you and who got to tuck you into bed.

Bed time kisses are no longer enough for me, I am tired of just having memories of you,I want you back in my arms.

I love you Gaje and I always will.