In Memory of Gaje Jeffrey Florence

Life isn't the same without you and yet I find myself trying to find a reason, searching for the answers that just aren't there. Each morning, I wake up with this pitted feeling in my stomach longing to hold you and wishing for this dream to be over.

I stare at you picture and I am reminded of all the loss dreams that we had for you. I want you back. Life isn't suppose to be like this with nothing left to give. I gave you my all and now you are gone. I tried, oh how I tried but God still took you from us and it doesn't seem fare.

With each passing day, I am brought back to the same memory of the day that you died. The funeral is a blur but I remember that one day so well. I still dream of you and I am tormented by the feeling of hopelessness. What do you do when you have nothing more to give to this life?

Love was a lesson that i thought I knew so well until I watched you slip away. Love isn't something that I would take for granted and yet I feel like I took our time together for granted. I wish that I had more time, I wish that I could of told you how much that i loved you and how life just wouldn't be the same without you here with us. I wish I would have gotten to tell you goodbye and that our time together was the best time of my life.

You will always be my boy and the one that I still think of when i drift off to sleep. Why is life so cruel to have let a child so young die. Why wasn't I warned? Was I warned? Was that what my dreams were about? Why weren't they much clearer for me to understand? If I would have just known.....

Life is not justified by the way we live our lives, it is meant to learn from but I am tired of learning things the hard way. My life will never be the same without you and life itself, well, it's just not justified at all.