In Memory of Gaje Jeffrey Florence

I miss you more than anything in the world. Life doesn't seem the same without you here with us. I still don't understand how this could have happened to us or why you were taken from us.

I remember the rock on your dresser, you know, the white one that looked like a crystal. For some reason you would always bring it to me and tell me all about it even though I had heard the same story a million times. I didn't care though because it was something that you had enjoyed.

Your dad cleaned your room up yesterday. I couldn't do it, I couldn't make myself put your things away. I know that it probably sounds silly but it was like I felt that if I did then it meant that you were really gone. I don't want you to be gone.

It has been eight months since you died and it still feels like yesterday. I hope that i never forget your smile or those big brown eyes. I want to always remember you as you were but i still wander what you would have become.

Your future was looking so bright. I remember when we signed you up for baseball with all the other little kids your age. I was scared when you went out there because you were a lot smaller than the other children on your team. The coach thought that you were so good that he took you off of that age group and stuck you with the older children. Your dad and I were so proud of you.

I stood on the side lines and watched you play. Your dad was suppose to coach your team that year but it wasn't but only a few weeks later when you were killed.

It is funny to think that I wouldn't let you do a lot of things because I was afraid that you would end up getting hurt but in the end, I was just holding you back from what you would have become. I realize this now and I would have given you the world and everything in it. You were my baby boy and even death will not take that away from me.

I pray that you can see us and that you know how our hearts will always be with you.

Your brother has finally got passed the point of being angry but there are still moments when i worry about him. He misses you and I know that he loves you very much.

all of your sisters keep asking about you. Chrissy has to be reminded of what happened because she is so young that she forgets all the time. Autumn says that she tries to understand but it is hard for her. The two of you were so close. Gracie still goes in your room sometimes and plays with your toys.

Your dad and I sit around and talk about you all the time. I was suppose to have made you a cheese cake the night that you died. That box is still sitting there and I haven't eaten it since. You loved my cheese cake and would always try to sneak an extra piece.

In the end, you were the one who held this family together. This family is lost without you. I have so many questions that are unanswered. When I see you again, I hope that you great me with one of your big hugs.

I love you Gaje and I am sorry that this happened to you. I would have done anything for you.